hash trash: YK 4/12

I showed up at the meeting spot right about 11:30 (just an hour and a half late), and was met by KitchenIsCode with the usual bagsitter greeting:
“Wanna have some beer as we rummage through everyone’s bags?”


"I knead a stepstuhl to get they're atension."

“I knead a stepstuhl to get they’re atension.”

Bags were strewn on the ground. One could tell the bags of those hashers who arrived late (TBG, Zimbab, and a newbie) as they were tossed with reckless abandon and not as orderly as the rest. Kitchen and I rifled through to see if anyone had any bottles of Soju or Magkoli to add to our morning ‘hair-of-the-dog.’

The beer was beginning to get warm in the Spring morning sun… I chose a couple specifically for the FRB’s and nestled them down deep below the other cans to preserve their slight cool… We took four off the top as a bagsitters’ payment…

The hares arrived back at start and were digging through their bags to change into Hapi Coats and change shirts. One looked frantically for their bottle of Soju…I’ll never tell… so they had to just drink that bottle of Powerade all by itself…

After a couple hours (literally, hours!), the first couple short-cutting hashers (including DreamReamer) came in carrying Tears for Queers’ stool. Not much later, the non-short-cutting bastards ran in carrying more ‘treasures’ from trail: a duck head, a hula hoop, a broken walking stick, and fuzzy ear muffs. Eventually, a piece of plastic-wrapped cheese was added by one of the large group of homeless men hanging around the hash. Ricky and Kaila also showed up for circle after their completion of the half marathon on base. Apparently, adding a 6 mile trail to their already completed 13.1 was a bit too much to ask for these newbies…

Within circle, awards were given for best trail treasure, and KitchenIsCode became increasingly angry and frustrated at the circle being seemingly overtaken by a SouthsideH3 style of rambunctious-ness, including TearsForQueers shotgunning a can of beer, and throwing it ON THE GROUND! Kitchen displayed his contempt at such obnoxious behavior by launching the broken walking stick at one of the more subdued and quiet members of the hash.
– Faux apologies were given & accepted once the beer and blood was cleaned up, and the hasher regained consciousness after a while.

Within the extended length of YK’s circle (almost as long as it took to complete their trail), the Hares PAPS and I-35 were made to pay for their crimes against the hash. They tried to pawn off responsibility for the 2 hour trail on an unknown 3rd hare: Mr. Kim (cause that’s the name of every Korean, right?) while they also patted themselves on the back for finding an awesome adult-sized playground with more than just a swingset that can hold 2 grown drunk waygooks. TwoBlackGeyez had brought in a virgin to the pack, (no-name) Marty McFly, and another hasher was given his new, now and forever name: ‘Kanger-Oops.’ Named for an epic lusty encounter down-under.

Eventually, the circle was getting almost as rambunctious as the drunk homeless Korean men that were watching us, and so it was time to bestow the ‘hashit‘ upon the most worthy recipient: KitchenIsCode. Not only had his English grammar been exceedingly bad this week, but the pack felt his going ‘beserk’ upon another mild-mannered hasher was at such an epic level, that it rivaled Zimbab’s blood-lust against that ajuma on the subway up to the 38th parallel hash this past February.
– Rumor has it that Zimbab’s victim has recently come out of her coma and will hopefully walk again by next year. 

Kitchen took the hashit like a champ, which had been stirred with the very walking stick (still wet with blood) he had thrown earlier. Circle was concluded with hash hymnal #1 led by Kanger-Oops, and some found their way to the OB-hash while others found their way to Everest for some delicious Nepalese curry.

Good times were had yet again, despite the best efforts of the hares and mis-management, and so we kinda look forward to next week’s trail and/or bagsitting.

* special thanks for writing assistance to Timberballs


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