The 1538th running of the Yongsan Kimchi H3 occured on the frosty morning of January 23, 2016. Chinese Fungercuffs and Lights Classroom ACTION! dead-hared a sparsely-marked trail with light yellow teacher’s chalk, effectively rendering all marks void. Flo enjoyed the crisp morning air by engaging in rigorous exercise with a local. Our racist bastard was TRIPLE T, as she was extremely thirsty for beer slushies. Our lazy caboose runner was NN Reagan, who was thusly sacrificed by Flo. Hashit was delicious and went to ICUP for being the only one to go all the way to the YBF. Circle was cold, and you wanks missed out, as our pack was extremely limited. Bundle up for next week to help our own Zimbab move away from the tragedy of living above a bar.
The 1537th running of the Yongsan Kimchi Hash House Harriers (ooooh-up!) occurred on the morning of January 16, 2016. Before trail, Flo entertained two virgins by being completely beet-red embarrassed from being forced to explain what a package check was to Lights’s mother(who is a staunch, proper Catholic saint, btw). He also couldn’t refrain from blushing each time he cursed like the low-down wank he is.
Lights Classroom ACTION! laid an amazing trail of whimsy and checkbacks, leading the pack through the frigid morning snow. The circle was completed in record time by Flo and Lights to avoid hypothermia and the inevitable enemy of frostbite. Our FRB was ICUP, who was an unapologetic racist because “there’s beer here.” Bringing up the rear was Triple T for being late. Hashit was lovingly, but deservedly, given to Mommy for fucking up all our songs. Seriously, boy, get your life.
Next run will take place on January 23, 2016, at Seoul Forest.
Where: Banpo Hangang Park (detail info will be posted later)
When: 1900 (7pm for you civilian types)
Hares: Kitchen is Code
Hash Cash: W5 000
drink water and stretch
Where: Guil Station (Line 1, right next to Guro) Exit 1
When: 10:00 am
Hares: Dungeon Daddy – ON OUT
Hash Cash: W5 000
SEOUL HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
What: Seoul Hash 2299.08 GM Changeover trail
Time: 1600 (4pm for untrained bums)
Location: Namteryoung Station LINE 4: EXIT 2
ONON GPS Location: 37.456571,126.990082
Hares: Vagabond and ????
Apres trail: Where ever the new GM dictates:
Where: Songtan (Lion’s Den)
When: 3:00 pm
Hash Cash: W5 000
SOUTHSIDE H3 – Baggo’s on out (T-4 trails)
Where: Dangsan (station TBD)
When: 1:00 pm
Hares: Baggo & C3
Hash Cash: W5 000
A relative newcomer to the ROK, UrineTrouble, volunteered to hare for Feb 1st, however, the army had other ideas for him on the first, so the pack showed up at Yangjae Citizen’s forest, and had to get their hungover minds working just enough to figure out what to do.
Split Dick was immediately saying he definitely wanted a trail, and so it was eventually decided that it would become a ‘Mystery hash’ style trail:
– hasher will be chosen as the hare
– hare chugs a beer
– pack gives hare a 5 minute head start (5-ish…)
– hare runs for 10 minutes and stops
– first hasher (that hasn’t hared) to catch up becomes the next hare, and chugs the beer to start their part of trail.
Split Dick ran the first segment, and did a great job along the river/bayou/creek/! We caught up to him as he was feeding the pigeons from his bag of flour.
– The first hasher to catch up to him was Florence NightenGAY (recently named!), so he shotgunned his beer, and headed up out of the bank. We followed soon after and after some urban street running, we made it back to the running path along the river.
– First in was Tiny Dental Dancer and Spilt, so Tiny chugged what was left of his bottle of OJ and vodka. We had been out for almost 40+ minutes, so we suggested he make his trail in the general direction of the bags and start point.
– Tiny started to lay trail back along the river towards the start point, crossed a bridge, and then ran the other damn direction….
So we continue running further away from the start, along a road and up some steps to a park in the hills. Tiny finished, and the first hasher in was 8675. As we told her that we need to start heading back to the start, that she should probably head toward the river, she asked aloud, “OK, which way is the river?”
-I replied: “Uhhhhh, you know what? Nevermind, I’ll hare us back towards the start….”
I took what remained of the flour Split had bought, and a piece of green chalk, and “bee lined” it through the park, to the river, and took a left. At the end of my 10-ish minutes, I had basically been able to bring the pack back to where Tiny had crossed the river. Trail was crossing itself, several times, but the pack of 9 stayed together for the most part, except Rock. When the pack followed Tiny’s trail, Rock said, “F. this” and just walked back on his own.
Last hare of trail was 8675, and so she took off with the half a cup of flour left in the bag. You could tell the pack was pretty much finished for the day, cause noone followed any flour, we all just walked back along the river, enjoying a leisurely Sunday stroll.
– the only running was the last 100 yard sprint into the start. Gone in 48 thus made his first FRB.
Flo had been kind enough to stop for doughnuts on trail, so as Rock showed up from his walk, we held circle. Temp was dropping, so we made quick work of the necessary items of business, then sung hash hymnal #1, and headed out.
– Heart shaped box was kind enough to lead us to Gangnam and to Dakgalbi. It was great that the entire pack came out for the on-after.
A delicious and awesome Southside. ON ON!!
The pack gathered at Dongjak, and surprisingly NOT on Southside time. Must of been all the new folk, or everyone was eager to get there drink on.
Teener chalked out the marks to look for on trail- “look for them” but were we really going to find any?!?! He and Tiny Dental set off, and for some strange reason Teener took a bag of secrets with him. God only knows why, he sure doesn’t know what to do with them…
Pack gave them about 10 minutes as we introduced the newbies and visitors to the marks and how to hash with us. And then pack ‘awayed’ up to the subway station where everyone looked for a solid 10 minutes where the check goes, until Rock comes out (the station, not the closet) and says trail goes through to the other exit.
Pack continues on the overpass and straight to the worst set of stairs possibly imaginable. For shits and giggles, there was a danger can at the very top- I stepped over a few passed out bodies that had attempted to make the summit and go straight into hitting their head into a can of beer. Another check, and we head straight down the mountain, and into oncoming traffic.
– It was here, apparently that our visiting Guam hasher, Better on my Knees, doesn’t notice a marked check and runs straight through. AND THEN doesn’t seem to be bothered that there are no marks and keeps going straight. No wonder those jerk in Guam are known for getting lost and calling emergency services so often!
Back along a running path, including a beverage check, where Urine Trouble was able to have a whole can of beer to himself cause he happens to “cough’ when he hands it over to the next hasher and says “Oh, I’m sick by the way….”
– Jackass!! You’re carrying your vessel with you! We know your game!
Across another 8 road lane, and then in and out, and in and out (so much in & out!!) of the local apartment complexes before cuming back to the start point.
By the time the pack got back, Pissmas had rummaged through all our bags, and was joined in his duties by HIIT and BoobyDo. TBG and Zimbab showed up with more beer and though the pack tried to wait for the lost Guam hasher, we were just too thirsty and so started circle.
Hares: Teener & Tiny Dental
DFL/LRB: Better on my Knees
Interpretive Dance: Let it Go sung by Better on my Knees;
-situation: Lost on a mountain and trying poop while avoiding Zombies
Pack was over 20 strong this weekend, helped by the visitor from Guam, a ‘returner’ living in Vietnam, and some virgins brought by the pack. Good job ya’ll! The newbies didn’t seem too scared, so maybe we’ll see them again….
Way down south is where we were told to meet (Seohyeon). “Bring some money on trail, there’s going to be an awesome surprise!” we were told.
Most of the pack was on super southside time, but it was all OK, because not only did we have BOTH our hash hooches there this week, but additional beer was brought as well! We had no problem giving the late comers a little extra time.
– hares said general marks on trail, flour and chalk for marking, and they were away. We had 2 virgins on the line, a total virgin from Canadia, so we used the back of DHP’s shirt to show him what to look for.
We gave the hares 10 minutes, and then pack was away. Trail was significantly shorter than what the hares usually do, so it wasn’t long before the hares were back and indicating the trail had NOT gone as planned as the waygook card had been pulled on the pack:
– The plan had been to run to a bungee jump, do the bungee and run back to start. Instead, our little band of foreigners arrived at the bungee jump place, and the local operators said “uhhh, sorry. we are closed” as Koreans continued to enjoy the jumping. Later, a cuter, more female hasher asked the opoerator and she was told that there wouldn’t be any jumping until 3pm… Wait, is it closed or taking a break?!?
Whatever, pack came back and put on warmer gear and enjoyed beverages of choice. FRBs were a couple of the OB boys, one of whom was kind enough to grace us with his Emo make-up on. Most of the pack made it in about the same time, and we eventually started circle just as Nut-N-Bone arrived talking about how fun his bungee jump had been.
– Hares and FRBs were punished.
– Virgins were welcomed, and they danced.
– We had a naming, congrats to: 1cunt2cuntOldcuntNewCunt
– Erections were held:
Religious Advisors: Nut ‘N Bone, HHIT, Vagabond
GFs: Flamethrower, C3P
Hash Hooch: TBG, Eiffel, Inches
Hash Cash: Rock
Hash Flash: Menage
Hare Raiser: Pissmas
Haberdashery: Vagabond, Eiffel, DreamReamer
And so the hash finished its business, and made it to the on-after, Travelers. Many burgers were had, and to start his 2nd term off right, TBG did the burger challenge so the pack could enjoy a free pitcher of Cass. He was too full to have any but a sip: What a team player! Eiffel didn’t bother with any challenge and just ordered a couple pitchers of Bloody Mary’s.
So ended another Southsiiiide!
Saturday morning, the YK pack met at World Cup Stadium. Eventually the co-hare, Midget, did as well, clearly prepared and ready for a good trail, and in proper running attire. Corndog stepped in to do chalk talk, and made it a longer than usual intro, to give the hares some extra time. TBG and Flame were chomping at the bit, the smell of a ‘hare snare’ in their noses. As it was World Peace through beer, many of the pack brought delicious beverages of choice from exotic lands like Milwaukee, and Texas. Chalk talk eventually finished, and the pack was finally let go.
I can’t say I know much about trail except that it was supposedly the trail run for the Red Dress Run we did in the spring, but backwards and maybe more stairs?.
– Very surprisingly, the hares were not caught, in part because some of the pack just didn’t recognize them and so never gave chase.
At circle, we welcomed 2 virgins to the pack and we welcomed back a YK hasher from back in the late 90’s, Tartar Sauce. We had our chance to say goodbye to MVB as she’s headed back to the states. Tears were shed as Tartar sobbed over and over, “its just not the same anymore…”
Hares and MVB were given hashit, and the pack gathered up the extra beer to take to the other kennels.
Southside assembled at the ‘double pagoda’ near Namtaeryong. Hares TBG and Flamethrower promised lots of beer on trail and short, flat, shiggy-free experience. The pack actually had to wait on the hares to come back in from trail before we could start. It was cool though, we had world beer to contemplate peace.
The trail was not necessarily long, but there was a lot of ups and downs. AND SOME GREAT VIEWS!! Some of us went as far as the 2nd beer check, which was really more of the 2nd of many beer teases. The hares marked that there was beverage of choice… HARES LIE!!!
Some turned back while others continued the long march of sorrow through the mountains. It was not very sunny, so those of us waiting for the pack to arrive sustained ourselves on junk food and a couple trips to the store that was another long sorrowful walk from the on-in.
Beer was being finished pretty quick and the weather seemed to be turning against us as well, and so before the last of the pack got back from trail we started circle.
– We punished the hares, and the FRB: Cum-N-Go
– We welcomed 4 virgins to the pack
– our returners gave away free stuff
– We ran out of beer, so didn’t bother with hashit
– We sang a quick swing low
Circle finished as it was getting dark and a few rain drops hit. We took the subway 1 stop up to Sadang, and found a dokgalbi place thanks to our current Korean sound effects maker, Subin. Dinner turned a bit more expensive than we had originally thought, but fortunately we had gone through some of the packs bags while they were on trail, and didn’t come up too short….