Southside (mystery) hash; Feb 1.

A relative newcomer to the ROK, UrineTrouble, volunteered to hare for Feb 1st, however, the army had other ideas for him on the first, so the pack showed up at Yangjae Citizen’s forest, and had to get their hungover minds working just enough to figure out what to do.

Split Dick was immediately saying he definitely wanted a trail, and so it was eventually decided that it would become a ‘Mystery hash’ style trail:
– hasher will be chosen as the hareIMG_1753[1]
– hare chugs a beer
– pack gives hare a 5 minute head start (5-ish…)
– hare runs for 10 minutes and stops
– first hasher  (that hasn’t hared) to catch up becomes the next hare, and chugs the beer to start their part of trail.

Split Dick ran the first segment, and did a great job along the river/bayou/creek/! We caught up to him as he was feeding the pigeons from his bag of flour.
– The first hasher to catch up to him was Florence NightenGAY (recently named!), so he shotgunned his beer, and headed up out of the bank. We followed soon after and after some urban street running, we made it back to the running path along the river.
– First in was Tiny Dental Dancer and Spilt, so Tiny chugged what was left of his bottle of OJ and vodka. We had been out for almost 40+ minutes, so we suggested he make his trail in the general direction of the bags and start point.
– Tiny started to lay trail back along the river towards the start point, crossed a bridge, and then ran the other damn direction….

So we continue running further away from the start, along a road and up some steps to a park in the hills. Tiny finished, and the first hasher in was 8675. As we told her that we need to start heading back to the start, that she should probably head toward the river, she asked aloud, “OK, which way is the river?”
-I replied: “Uhhhhh, you know what? Nevermind, I’ll hare us back towards the start….”

I took what remained of the flour Split had bought, and a piece of green chalk, and “bee lined” it through the park, to the river, and took a left. At the end of my 10-ish minutes, I had basically been able to bring the pack back to where Tiny had crossed the river. Trail was crossing itself, several times, but the pack of 9 stayed together for the most part, except Rock. When the pack followed Tiny’s trail, Rock said, “F. this” and just walked back on his own.

Last hare of trail was 8675, and so she took off with the half a cup of flour left in the bag. You could tell the pack was pretty much finished for the day, cause noone followed any flour, we all just walked back along the river, enjoying a leisurely Sunday stroll.
– the only running was the last 100 yard sprint into the start. Gone in 48 thus made his first FRB.

Flo had been kind enough to stop for doughnuts on trail, so as Rock showed up from his walk, we held circle. Temp was dropping, so we made quick work of the necessary items of business, then sung hash hymnal #1, and headed out.
– Heart shaped box was kind enough to lead us to Gangnam and to Dakgalbi. It was great that the entire pack came out for the on-after.

A delicious and awesome Southside. ON ON!!


Southside: Teener’s last trail

Run #792
The pack gathered at Dongjak, and surprisingly NOT on Southside time. Must of been all the new folk, or everyone was eager to get there drink on.

Teener chalked out the marks to look for on trail- “look for them” but were we really going to find any?!?! He and Tiny Dental set off, and for some strange reason Teener took a bag of secrets with him. God only knows why, he sure doesn’t know what to do with them…

Pack gave them about 10 minutes as we introduced the newbies and visitors to the marks and how to hash with us. And then pack ‘awayed’ up to the subway station where everyone looked for a solid 10 minutes where the check goes, until Rock comes out (the station, not the closet) and says trail goes through to the other exit.

Pack continues on the overpass and straight to the worst set of stairs possibly imaginable. For shits and giggles, there was a danger can at the very top- I stepped over a few passed out bodies that had attempted to make the summit and go straight into hitting their head into a can of beer. Another check, and we head straight down the mountain, and into oncoming traffic.
– It was here, apparently that our visiting Guam hasher, Better on my Knees, doesn’t notice a marked check and runs straight through. AND THEN doesn’t seem to be bothered that there are no marks and keeps going straight. No wonder those jerk in Guam are known for getting lost and calling emergency services so often!

Back along a running path, including a beverage check, where Urine Trouble was able to have a whole can of beer to himself cause he happens to “cough’ when he hands it over to the next hasher and says “Oh, I’m sick by the way….”
– Jackass!! You’re carrying your vessel with you! We know your game!

Across another 8 road lane, and then in and out, and in and out (so much in & out!!) of the local apartment complexes before cuming back to the start point.

By the time the pack got back, Pissmas had rummaged through all our bags, and was joined in his duties by HIIT and BoobyDo. TBG and Zimbab showed up with more beer and though the pack tried to wait for the lost Guam hasher, we were just too thirsty and so started circle.
Hares: Teener & Tiny Dental
FRB: 11inches
DFL/LRB: Better on my Knees
Interpretive Dance: Let it Go sung by Better on my Knees;
-situation: Lost on a mountain and trying poop while avoiding Zombies
Leaver: Teener
Hashit: Teener/Hares

Pack was over 20 strong this weekend, helped by the visitor from Guam, a ‘returner’ living in Vietnam, and some virgins brought by the pack. Good job ya’ll! The newbies didn’t seem too scared, so maybe we’ll see them again….



The bungee that never jumped; S2H3 Nov2

Way down south is where we were told to meet (Seohyeon). “Bring some money on trail, there’s going to be an awesome surprise!” we were told.

Most of the pack was on super southside time, but it was all OK, because not only did we have BOTH our hash hooches there this week, but additional beer was brought as well! We had no problem giving the late comers a little extra time.
– hares said general marks on trail, flour and chalk for marking, and they were away. We had 2 virgins on the line, a total virgin from Canadia, so we used the back of DHP’s shirt to show him what to look for.

We gave the hares 10 minutes, and then pack was away. Trail was significantly shorter than what the hares usually do, so it wasn’t long before the hares were back and indicating the trail had NOT gone as planned as the waygook card had been pulled on the pack:
– The plan had been to run to a bungee jump, do the bungee and run back to start. Instead, our little band of foreigners arrived at the bungee jump place, and the local operators said “uhhh, sorry. we are closed” as Koreans continued to enjoy the jumping. Later, a cuter, more female hasher asked the opoerator and she was told that there wouldn’t be any jumping until 3pm… Wait, is it closed or taking a break?!?

Whatever, pack came back and put on warmer gear and enjoyed beverages of choice. FRBs were a couple of the OB boys, one of whom was kind enough to grace us with his Emo make-up on. Most of the pack made it in about the same time, and we eventually started circle just as Nut-N-Bone arrived talking about how fun his bungee jump had been.
Hares and FRBs were punished.
Virgins were welcomed, and they danced.
– We had a naming, congrats to: 1cunt2cuntOldcuntNewCunt
– Erections were held:IMG_1438
Religious Advisors: Nut ‘N Bone, HHIT, Vagabond
GFs: Flamethrower, C3P
Hash Hooch: TBG, Eiffel, Inches
Hash Cash: Rock
Hash Flash: Menage
Hare Raiser: Pissmas
Haberdashery: Vagabond, Eiffel, DreamReamer

And so the hash finished its business, and made it to the on-after, Travelers. Many burgers were had, and to start his 2nd term off right, TBG did the burger challenge so the pack could enjoy a free pitcher of Cass. He was too full to have any but a sip: What a team player! Eiffel didn’t bother with any challenge and just ordered a couple pitchers of Bloody Mary’s.2014-11-03
So ended another Southsiiiide!

On ON!

World Peace Through Beer hash-trash.

Saturday morning, the YK pack met at World Cup Stadium. Eventually the co-hare, Midget, did as well, clearly prepared and ready for a good trail, and in proper running attire. Corndog stepped in to do chalk talk, and made it a longer than usual intro, to give the hares some extra time. TBG and Flame were chomping at the bit, the smell of a ‘hare snare’ in their noses. As it was World Peace through beer, many of the pack brought delicious beverages of choice from exotic lands like Milwaukee, and Texas. Chalk talk eventually finished, and the pack was finally let go.

I can’t say I know much about trail except that it was supposedly the trail run for the Red Dress Run we did in the spring, but backwards and maybe more stairs?.
– Very surprisingly, the hares were not caught, in part because some of the pack just didn’t recognize them and so never gave chase.

At circle, we welcomed 2 virgins to the pack and we welcomed back a YK hasher from back in the late 90’s, Tartar Sauce. We had our chance to say goodbye to MVB as she’s headed back to the states. Tears were shed as Tartar sobbed over and over, “its just not the same anymore…”IMG_1391

Hares and MVB were given hashit, and the pack gathered up the extra beer to take to the other kennels.

Southside assembled at the ‘double pagoda’ near Namtaeryong. Hares TBG and Flamethrower promised lots of beer on trail and short, flat, shiggy-free experience. The pack actually had to wait on the hares to come back in from trail before we could start. It was cool though, we had world beer to contemplate peace.

The trail was not necessarily long, but there was a lot of ups and downs. AND SOME GREAT VIEWS!! 10675531_10152831564656115_3051035711172799012_nSome of us went as far as the 2nd beer check, which was really more of the 2nd of many beer teases. The hares marked that there was beverage of choice… HARES LIE!!!

Some turned back while others continued the long march of sorrow through the mountains. It was not very sunny, so those of us waiting for the pack to arrive sustained ourselves on junk food and a couple trips to the store that was another long sorrowful walk from the on-in.

Beer was being finished pretty quick and the weather seemed to be turning against us as well, and so before the last of the pack got back from trail we started circle.
– We punished the hares, and the FRB: Cum-N-Go
– We welcomed 4 virgins to the pack
– our returners gave away free stuff
– We ran out of beer, so didn’t bother with hashit
– We sang a quick swing low

Circle finished as it was getting dark and a few rain drops hit. We took the subway 1 stop up to Sadang, and found a dokgalbi place thanks to our current Korean sound effects maker, Subin. Dinner turned a bit more expensive than we had originally thought, but fortunately we had gone through some of the packs bags while they were on trail, and didn’t come up too short….IMG_1402

Southside Oct 19

Pissmas and co hare arranged for the pack to meet atop a nest of wasps cause they were too chicken to ask the old ajumas to leave the picnic table.

Pack was promised a short trail and highs and lows and there was definitely no shortage of lows on this trail. BaggoShit and I were left behind to rummage through everyone’s stuff, and welcome the late comers, including a virgin and Rock and a hard on. Rock regaled us of his PR at the race that morning.

Racing back into the start was Split Dick, and just behind him, only cause he chose not to go through the hedges, was soon to be named Jay.

Trail was under 3 miles, the pack came back and became the laziest bunch of wanks I’ve ever seen at a circle. Everyone was sitting down, and a few were even paying attention.

Interpretive dance was a Harry Potter style wizard’s battle, on the Death Star at a Swinger’s convention. We took care of other business, and a couple of drinking bets that the GF never seemed to get right- thanks (for the song)  Timber!

We also got to name Jay. Those that know the man, knows he’s quiet and doesn’t last too long (phrasing!!!) so despite looking like that asshole from the matrix, the pack seemed fit to name him Cum-N-Go.

Circle was finished and so a quick subway ride, and we hit up a bibimbap place. A ton of food was ordered and shared, and they also told us we couldn’t drink there, so after we ate, we passed around a bottle of beer before we all went our separate inebriated ways.

On on to next week’s World Peace through beer!
– C3PeeHoles

YK, and Southside Oct 4-5

I don’t really have a whole lot of time to write a good hash-trash, so I’ll write a poor quick one as usual.

YK met on a beautiful Saturday morning, and welcomed 2 visitors from abroad. I say ‘welcomed’ instead of the more correct term- hazed. Commercial Whal and Who the F is Alice.

The day’s hare, Ninjabator, pre-laid trail the previous night, on his own, as his first time to ever hare a run. So many lessons were learned that day, by all of us.IMG_1210
– It was an A-B, so we couldn’t turn around when we realized all his marks would be under cars and 200 meters apart
– we were told about 4 miles. It was 9.
– we were told he ran out of chalk. Yes, he clearly did that… several times it seemed.
– he took us past some beautiful parks. Not through, past.

I don’t know what the pack has done to make 1 hare so angry at them, but I hope we find a way to apologize.

Once the pack had gotten to the end after numerous messages and calls to Kitchen, the growling hashers relented as their bellies were fed, and their thirst quenched with our beverage of choice.

You can bet the pack gave the hare the hashit, for which it was well deserved, and the hare took it like a champ and was happily listening to the ‘suggestions’ of how to run a better trail next time….

Additionally, we got to celebrate the upcoming nuptials for VVD and Cranky, and we also got finally give name to a harriette, well known for her love of all law enforcement personnel. Congrats PoePoePooh-stew.


Southside was supposed to be hared by Midget, but he was unfortunately called into work… at least that is what the story is currently. I think there also exists the possibility that our hare said “F-it!” and didn’t want to take his chances doing his first hare as half the pack was still sore and from Saturday. Given some un-marked turns, their may be blood shed!
– Zimbab and TBG acted as relief hares for the trail just outside Yangjae station. IMG_1286a

Up and down a couple of hills and through the woods, the hares made a good number of YBFs to try to slow down the pack. Although they were given at least 20 minutes head start, they only finished 5 minutes ahead of the FRBs.

Trail had been less than 5k, so for what length the trail lacked, we made up in length of circle. Nut and Bone was kind enough to take a drunk break from his conference to join us.

We also welcomed our 3 virgins and 1 visitor (Hakama from Tokyo), and enjoyed their dance about having Ebola while donating blood in Thailand, while filmed by Whore.



S2H3, 9/21; Revenge of the color blind

This weeks’ Southside (SOUTHSIIIIIIIIIDE) brought a small pack to the land of consumerism and plastic surgery; Gangnam. We followed S2 GF C3PeeHoles’ sparsely laid and well hidden (foreshadowing?!?) pack marks from Apujeong Station to our favourite type of on-site…a playground filled with Korean kids! Just what us teacher-types love to see while we’re hung over on a Sunday (around 1ish).

C3 made his haring comeback after some months being lazy… er, injured. He showed us his trail marks (a ‘fish check.’ Really? Ok.), was blessed with some sort of rum that tasted more like paint thinner, and he was off. 15minutes later the pack, including Luva Lamp, a visitor from Boston, was off behind him….an easy snare in their sights. Turns out all those IMG_1165Korean lessons the hare has taken came in handy because the only one who could seem to find the false trail marks was Boobydo Bunny. Strangely, even though Boobydo was with us, the middle of the pack had a hard time finding a true trail that mysteriously ended up under a parking cone….HHIT was to be punished for this at circle.

With the exception of a couple of racists, the pack stayed together on this short, flat, and shiggy-free pavement pounder. The roughly 4.5k trail brought us through a memorial park, fancy shopping districts, and even past a store called “Second Coming”…which reminds me, I need to head back to Gangnam soon.

FRBs HHIT and Drink Her Pretty came in just a few moments short of a snare and the rest of the pack followed closely behind. Thanks to the newly minted Juice Jedi, One Midget to Rule Them All, our bags were safe and only slightly rummaged through. We charged our vessels full of mimosa courtesy of HHIT and started a very laid back circle with more than enough beverage of choice to have us all hammered in no time. Newbie Luva Lamp and HHIT gave an interesting history lesson on the Boston Tea Party via interpretive dance (INTERPRETIVE DANCE! INTREPRETIVE DANCE! INTREPRETIVE DANCE!). I’m pretty sure the actual BTP had nothing to do with someone’s junk in someone else’s mouth, but what do I know? I’m just a Canadian. A bunch of people were called out for a bunch of stupid shit and in turn a bunch of other people drank as stand ins. C3 brought us booze from Shanghai and Vagabond puked….what was that about someone pissing themselves last time you brought that shit back, C3?
We sang “Jesus Saves” among a bunch of other songs and then realized that an infant with a smart phone had been videoing us. Keep an eye on pornhub for the videos….move over Kim Kardashian!a1947439_10152747515991115_9007446357062677099_n We did, surprisingly, avoid a gypsy hash and headed out to a meat place for on-after-ing. Even though it was a small pack it was a great Southside Sunday!!

ON-ON to next week; Teener Schnitzel’s slow sloping easy elevation trail…..bring an oxygen tank……. and a Sherpa.